Dear Mr. and Mrs. Cymbal:
It is with great regret that I inform you that your son, Johnny, will not achieve his dream of becoming a bass man.
Although I’m sure this news comes as a devastating blow to both you and your son, I feel that the decision is just and it’s best that we face this disappointing news immediately. From here, we begin the process of healing and it is my true hope that we can put this broken dream behind us.
I do not doubt Johnny’s ambition. His dedication and determination are unquestioned. He is bright, hard-working, and even talented as far as truly selling his song.
However, if you listen to the session (above), you’ll certainly agree that, despite his most sincere efforts, Johnny simply cannot dig deep enough to master those bass notes and, in turn, indeed become a bass man.
There is an expression often used in life: Use what you got to get what you want. I subscribe to this, and I know Johnny does too. However, at the end of the day, the ability to dig down to those low notes is a gift from our Creator, and although Johnny was blessed with many talents, singing bass is sadly not one of them.
If you can believe it, this pains me even more than it does you. I am considered, as Johnny mentions, “the hidden king of rock and roll,” and am indeed on “all the songs.” Having a bass heir to continue my good work would have delighted me.
Johnny speaks the truth: it don’t mean a thing when the leader’s singing, or when he goes “ay yi, yi yi yi yi.” Ironically, I actually think that Johnny would be better suited as a lead singer. My contention is that lead vocal is where he would actually achieve his dream of being a “bass” man, because, with him in the forefront, he would bring a certain gravity and heft, hence giving the song more meaning. He would actually be more “with it,” as he identifies himself, as the lead.
Again, my sincere regrets and apologies for this decision. I do believe that, in life, every person we meet allows us to take a good quality along with us on our journey. I know that Johnny, and his fierce determination to set that music thumpin’, will remain in my thoughts and good graces.
I remain sincerely and respectfully yours,
Mr. Bass Man