It was almost there, and then it vanished like a half-forgotten dream.
On October 9, 1996, Donald Trump and Rosie O’ Donnell appeared on the same episode of The Nanny, but not together in the same scene.
Fran, say it ain’t so.
Dig: The Nanny, not overdressed in the least, attends a taping of The Rosie O’ Donnell Show. She, being Fran, talks out of turn, attracting Rosie’s attention. You understand that this is exceptional, right?
The two First Ladies of Comedy banter a bit, but meanwhile we can’t help but pity the plain, ordinary ’90s studio audience surrounding them (real people playing real people, long before reality television!). Fran and Rosie are easily, almost distressingly bigger than life and more uber camera-ready than we can digest. (Just like Donald Trump, but more about Trump later)
As fate (at least Fran’s fate and not ours, ever) would have it, Rosie instantly offers her a regular segment on the show. Fran, being a nanny (and not just a nanny, but The Nanny) is invited to yenter it up about child care. We all saw this coming, of course.
Boom: Fran and her big mouth and unique style (are you seeing the Trump premonition?) capture the attention of a fascinated media (again, Trump).
Fran is now riding around in limos, being swarmed by crowds, and crushed by reporters (Trump, Trump and Trump). She’s invited to fancy-schmantzy parties, just like anyone else who would contribute a three-minute segment to an afternoon talk show.
Do we resent Fran’s constant stream of blessed fate and good luck? Not really. We’re too busy living vicariously through her. Does she deserve it? Yes, if only for Danny Imperialli, the Queens piece of shit who dumped her and fired her, all before the opening credits of the first ep. Look at her now, Danny. Look at her now.
If it weren’t for Danny’s ignorance, Fran wouldn’t be living the dream.
So, nu? Who comes to Mr. Sheffield’s Fifth Avenue mansion to whisk Fran away to yet another soiree?
You guessed it: The Donald. Naturally.
Hair: Tame. Or at least tamer.
Post-Zack-Morris cell phones: 2. One in each jacket pocket. Not too shabby.
Demeanor: Semi-reserved. The 1996 Donald Trump — not the 2015 Donald Trump — is the one who would make you say, “Donald Trump for President.”
Air-time: About 2.5 minutes. Small doses, Donald!
What does this cameo appearance tell us about Donald Trump’s presidential run? Plenty. He’s in charge. He’s multi-tasking (two cell phones). He’s solid with the right people (Mr. Sheffield and Fran).
Trump’s funny line (funny in 1996): He says to the cell phone caller, “I told you to never call me on this line!” So the caller then calls on the other cell phone, in Trump’s other pocket. Trump answers that phone and says, “That’s better.”
You see how Donald Trump is richer than you ‘n me? He has two cell phones. One in each pocket.
Funny in ’96 (and Trump in ’16).
Presidential candidate Donald Trump needs to seriously study his Nanny appearance, to see how he can return to his semi-reserved demeanor, tamer hair and smaller doses. Here, the Alpha Male is reeling it in and busting it out, if you can follow that in any way.
Possible Donald Trump running mate: Rosie O’ Donnell.
Sure, why not: She sees someone she likes and hires them on the spot. No due dilligence. Just like a vice-president is supposed to act. Am I right, Mr. Cheney?
Then, of course, Fran gets fired, but it’s not Donald Trump who says, “You’re fired.” It’s Rosie (off camera).
Are you seeing the karma here? Are you connecting the dots?